What Causes Low Self-Esteem and How to Improve It
We are not born with low self-esteem
Self-esteem and self-confidence are often used interchangeably. However, they are very different. Self-confidence is a measure of our belief in our abilities, whereas self-esteem relates to our sense of self and how we interact with the world. 24 Sept 2020 https://www.torontopsychologists.com/whats-the-difference-between-self-esteem-and-self-confidence
What Causes Low Self-Esteem?
We are born into an environment where our parents and caregivers had their own beliefs, perceptions, talents, problems, and ways of coping. It’s an environment we have no control over.
From this, we learn and witness how to live and operate in the world.
These experiences create memories that form our perceptions and beliefs about ourselves and the world.
This is how we form our identity – the way we are labeled by others and ourselves.
Those who have had an unhappy childhood and have been criticized, punished, abused, or put down will be more likely to form a belief that they are not good enough, wrong, not important, abandoned, rejected, unloved, incompetent, or inadequate. With these negative beliefs about themselves, they will have low self-esteem.
The more we think about and reinforce these beliefs, the stronger the neural pathways will be in our mind to the past proofs and references that support our low self-esteem.
We get a physical reaction in our body when we are triggered by something that reminds us of the time when those beliefs were formed. It could be the way someone looked at us, something someone said, or even a taste or smell.
To avoid feeling this way, we often self-medicate by smoking, drinking, eating, shopping, playing video games, gambling, doing drugs, or using social media. This can start out by trying to fit in or to feel loved.
This results in beating ourselves up and not feeling good enough because we can’t stop. That reinforces the negative beliefs we have that support our low self-esteem.
Recognize You Can Do Something About It.
By taking ownership and realizing our worth comes from within and not from others’ judgments of us, we can start to improve how we feel about ourselves.
Our present situation is based on our past experiences. Changing our perception of the past will change how we perceive our future.
Beliefs are not based on facts. They are only what the individual believes to be true.
Memories are not stuck or permanent, and two people experiencing the same thing will have different memories of it. How often have you had an argument with someone about a past event, and both have a different memory of it? The latest research shows that every time we revisit a memory, it is updated based on what is happening each time.
We tend to focus on a few negative experiences rather than all the positive ones because negative ones have more emotional charge.
Neuroplasticity, also known as neural plasticity or brain plasticity, is the ability of neural networks in the brain to change through growth and reorganization. These changes range from individual neuron pathways making new connections to systematic adjustments like cortical remapping. Wikipedia
What You Can Do To Improve Your Self-Esteem
I learnt an advanced tapping system with eutaptics®FasterEFT™ It is a thinking system developed by Robert Smith. It is a combination of techniques, including Directed Mindfulness, NLP, Bad/Good collapse, neuroplasticity, and the latest research into memory reconsolidation. It is used to update past experiences to positive ones. We are not changing history or what really happened, but the way we hold it in our mind, our beliefs, and our perceptions. When we change our past experiences and how we perceive them, it changes how we create our present and future and how we feel about ourselves. Our subconscious doesn’t know the difference between real and imagined, so we can create a wonderful past, present, and future for ourselves.
Once we take ownership of our own situation, we no longer need to blame others or the outside world for how we feel about and perceive ourselves anymore.
Then we can forgive others and ourselves for our past behaviors because we knew no different at the time, and our caregivers and influencers were only operating from the knowledge and skills they had at the time. The past is over, it’s not happening anymore, and we can let it go.
Now we can create a happy future by imagining and feeling it as if it has already happened. What we focus on is what we attract, so focusing on what we would like to have will attract more of it.
Diane is an advanced tapping practitioner, mentor, and teacher with 10 years of experience, attending trainings, presenting, and working with clients.